I found out about this from the Something Awful forums, from a guy who apparently had a class with ‘the Time Cube video guy’.
Perhaps not so surprisingly, he killed himself.
If you’re not familiar with the zaniness that is the TimeCube theory of…something (it really is impossible to figure out), here’s the original site. And here are the videos (?!). And an interview with the discoverer of the Time Cube theory, Gene Ray.
To me, this is what the internet was made for. One guy, espousing his whacked-out view of time, universal constants and Illuminatist theories. And another guy, a disciple (!) of the Time Cube, even though Gene Ray seems to hate the young guy that made the videos.
The cool thing about a massive forum like Something Awful is that you get loads of people from all walks of life, and some with plenty of time to read the whole Time Cube site and try to figure out what the hell the guy means.
A user named Haunting Robot posted:
I tried to unravel this once, just to try and work out exactly where his mind is broken, apart from “everywhere”.
If you imagine, the sun’s light hits the earth at a point we’ll call “day”, and the point opposite that is the point called “night”. If you then go off at 90 degrees to that line you hit the midpoints between day and night, which become “dawn” and “dusk”. If you join up those 4 points you get a square, which fits inside the circle made by the earth’s surface. Also, that divides up the earth into four quarters, day, night, dawn and dusk. As the earth rotates, each point on the earth goes through those four quarters in sequence: dawn day dusk night. So far so arbitrary.
Now it goes off on one a bit… because each quarter of the earth goes through the same daily cycle offset by a quarter of a day (I know, I know), he does this brainfart whereby he declares that each day is four days running at the same time (even though the lines deliniating them are things that he just imagined anyway). The next brainfart deals with taking the square, the four points he described earlier, and turning them into some kind of rotational solid. Only, he doesn’t rotate them through the third, spatial axis, but through time. I say “rotate”, because he doesn’t rotate it smoothly just refers to it offset by 90 degrees each time. Multiplying the four points on the square by the four steps in this rotation, he gets the whole “16 points in a timecube” thing.
This makes fuck all sense, but it seems to be the basis of the rest of his theory, because after that it all devolves into some illuminati conspiracy theory ranting.
Now seriously – that’s in plain English. Try going to the original site now to figure out what the hell the ‘discoverer’ of the Time Cube theory says…and you just realize it’s easier to let someone else do it.